Onward To Health!

June 15,
A lot has changed since I last (and first) wrote, as is usually the case with me. I am somewhat embarrassed about what I wrote then and also thankful for the changes that have occurred because of it. People have reached out with new ideas that have me optimistic- yeah!
All along it has been the allopathic world that has been concerned about me, and according to western medicine I have been considered very sick and most recently to be near death. The alternative healing community has continually seen me as healthy, resilient and doing well. I have worked at making sense of both and taking advantage of the best of both. I have been introduced to some new alternative healing medicines that seem very promising.
First I’d like to say something about how I got to the place of feeling like I was dying. I have come to believe over the years that we are 75% responsible for what happens in our lives- due to what we think, feel, and believe. Up until the last 2 days I could not think, feel or believe that I could get healthy. I have been so weak, tired, discouraged and focusing on lab results, weight loss (I got down to 130 pounds), doctors words, I just couldn’t focus on where I wanted to go (health, strength, well-being, long life). I had been in a prolonged physical, mental, and spiritual crisis. In my belief system since I was focusing on illness, weakness, etc. that is where I was headed.
Gradually, since the beginning of the blog, I have been taking in all the love, support and energy of all of you and there have been outward signs of improvement because of it! Most of you have seemed to agree with my sense of impending death- taking me seriously (which I have taken as love!, and caring). [I finally (after 2 months of being unable to) cried after reading a bunch of email responses. (I had recently gotten off some medication that was impinging on my ability to feel also.)] But a few people have come forward with strong convictions that I am not even close to death, not believing me at all. One of those was an acquaintance that I did not know was a medicine woman, shaman, healer who I will tell you about shortly. Having my blood test results show such miraculous, unexplainable improvements last week was really encouraging and began to shatter my sense of impending death. I began to believe in miracles again. I began to be able to take in a few people’s encouragement in this direction. In the last 2 days I have started to gain weight and my bowels have begun to work without lots of aides.
One of my energy healers, Martha Derbyshire, encouraged me to look into some supplements to help me. I called about them and was greatly encouraged by what I heard about the efficacy of them and have thus ordered them. Last night, Adam Stone and his wife Bella (pronounced Beja) came by to bring me some Peruvian rainforest medicinal plant parts. Bella is the medicine woman I spoke of a few sentences ago. I was fascinated to learn of Bella’s village’s belief that nothing is incurable. That one just has to find the right plant and use it and one will be healed. That plants have intelligence and the correct plant can work with the body to heal it! Adam and Bella felt strongly about a particular root that it would help me. I started taking it last night and felt better today than I have felt in months. Their words were very impactful and have shifted my outlook. Bella is convinced that I will not die soon, that I will be healed by the plants she has provided me. Adam and Bella’s beliefs about the efficacy of the plants due to them growing in virgin soil, their descriptions of the red sap that comes out of them when cut, their regeneration capabilities was very convincing to me.
So I am beginning to be able to visualize myself being healthy and strong! Yeah! There are outward demonstrations of positive change. Yeah!
Today, another healer friend, John Cardano, came by and we lay out on the lawn in the sun and talked. He helped me visualize my bone marrow in new profound ways. He has encouraged me to go inward more, to make my health my #1 priority. (Believe it or not I still will sacrifice my health to do projects, be responsible, please others, or for other reasons.) I have a renewed commitment to taking the time to go inside and connect with my body, love it, be accepting of it, and have fun with it. With this commitment, which includes resting a lot more, I may not be as responsive to you all. I may be more inward, selfish, and self-caring.
I welcome you to join me once again in being healthy and vibrant and living a long time.
Oh, and something you could do for me, when we are together or on the phone, is to initiate having some meditative silence. I long to doing healing practice (silence, Chi Gong, yoga, visualization, breathing…) with others, yet I am usually shy/reluctant to initiate doing so. If you would initiate it, I would be very grateful- if only for a minute or even a few seconds. A simple yet powerful gift to me.
There is much more I wish to share and it is sleeping time. Enough for now.
I apologize for what now seems like it may have been unnecessary drama. I am also thankful that what has happened has happened. I am very glad to be where I am now. And if it has been emotionally costly to you, I'm sorry.
Onward to life, learning, growth, healing and fun!
Much love, David