Celebration of Life

Hi All,

I started this post 6 days ago. Then I went back to work, and have been busy getting the house back together after a weekend of company. I was having trouble putting the order of service on here, and I see now that that there is still some error with the print size. I am going to publish it anyway, and when I have time, I'll come back and try to shift it around.

Meanwhile, here are some thoughts about the service. More to come.

The service yesterday was amazing! David would have loved it. We even danced at the end, as hard as that was to do without him. Seth and Tyler received a thunderous applause from the crowd, and Chrissy reminded us how excited David was a year ago announcing "My boys have made a CD!!!"

At some point I'll have some photos of the service, and hopefully a link to the recording of it, but for now, here's the order of service with lyrics to the songs. Many friends and family shared stories and I will include mine here, at the end.

Sorry the service is a bit messy, it didn't copy well here as you will see.

love, Tara

In Loving Memory David Stuart Demeré April 18, 1959 – November 1, 2010

David Demeré Memorial Celebration Saturday, November 20, 2010 11:00 AM at First Church in Belfast

Music for Gathering

Sound of Bells

Opening Words and Lighting of the Chalice

Hymn of Invocation Spirit of Life words and music by Carolyn McDade

Spirit of Life, come unto me. Sing in my heart all the stirrings of compassion. Blow in the wind, rise in the sea; move in the hand, giving life the shape of justice. Roots hold me close; wings set me free Spirit of Life, come to me, come to me.

Musical Interlude Give Yourself to Love words and music by Kate Wolf

Time for Remembrance

Seth Yentes

Andrew Baker

The Clements Family

Family and Friends

Musical Interlude Gaelic Mantra by Dorothy H. Robson

All is Impermanent

The Diamond That Cuts Through Delusion

Hymn Let it Be a Dance

Summation and Benediction Bell sound

Postlude Lord of the Dance (repeat)

Guided Meditation

Musical Interlude Tapestry text by William Blake, music by Audrey Snyder

Memorial Eko

Silent Meditation

Service Led by Rev. ShinKai Bonnie Versboncoeur Ministers: Rev. Mary Wellemeyer, Rev. Charles Demeré

Choir of Unitarian Universalist Church of Belfast, Led by Lila Nation Piano: Clayton Clemetson, Lila Nation

Vocal Trio: “Skylark” Paula Roberts, Chrissy Fowler, Molly Lebel Vocal Solo: Howard Sawyer

Reception organized by Chris LeGore and volunteers from the Unitarian Universalist Church of Belfast

Contradance with Chrissy Fowler and “Whiffletree” Seth Yentes and Tyler Demeré

Give Yourself to Love Words and Music by Kate Wolf

Kind friends all gathered 'round, there's something I would say: That what brings us together here has blessed us all today. Love has made a circle that holds us all inside; Where strangers are as family, loneliness can't hide.

You must give yourself to love if love is what you're after; Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter, And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.

I've walked these mountains in the rain and learned to love the wind; I've been up before the sunrise to watch the day begin. I always knew I'd find you, though I never did know how; Like sunshine on a cloudy day, you stand before me now.

So give yourself to love if love is what you're after; Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter, And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.

Love is born in fire; it's planted like a seed. Love can't give you everything, but it gives you what you need. And love comes when you're ready, love comes when you're afraid; It'll be your greatest teacher, the best friend you have made. So give yourself to love if love is what you're after; Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter, And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.

Let it Be a Dance Words and Music by Ric Masten Chorus: Let it be a dance we do. May I have this dance with you? Through the good times and the bad times, too, Let it be a dance. Let a dancing song be heard. Play the music, say the words, and fill the sky with sailing birds, Let it be a dance. Let it be a dance, let it be a dance! Learn to follow, learn to lead, feel the rhythm, fill the need to reap the harvest plant the seed, Let it be a dance! Chorus Everybody turn and spin, let your body learn to bend, and, like a willow with the wind, Let it be a dance. Let it be a dance, let it be a dance! A child is born, the old must die; a time for joy, a time to cry. Take it as it passes by. Let it be a dance. Chorus Morning star comes out at night; without the dark there is no light. If nothing's wrong, then nothing's right. Let it be a dance. Let it be a dance. Let it be a dance. Let the sun shine, let it rain share the laughter, bear the pain, and round and round we go again, Let it be a dance.

Lord of the Dance words revised for this occasion by Buck Sawyer I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the Moon & the Stars & the Sun. I came from Heaven & I danced on Earth. In a wondrous world I had my birth: Chorus: Dance then, wherever you may be I am the Lord of the Dance, said He! And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said He! I sang in the mountains and danced by the sea I played my drum so you could join with me. The music of life is a joy to share. And now my song is everywhere. Chorus I set my course and dance like the wind For peace and joy I will twirl and spin My heart is light and my step is strong. I bless you all with love and song Chorus

Thank you for being here today, and thank you all so much for loving David these 7 1/2 years. And particularly, thank you to everyone who helped to make these last weeks with David amazing! Your support made a bitter time, bittersweet instead.

One rainy summer night on the corner of Main Street and High, here in Belfast, David and I were walking, and we heard music coming from under a canopy. The beat was good so David took my hand and started doing the classic partner dance moves that I loved so much to do with him. I remember I was wearing a long flowy blue dress that soon became totally soaked and stuck to my skin. Yet on we went, whirling, beaming, loving our town, the band, these bodies for enabling such bliss, and each other for the willingness to dance like this!

In addition to how much fun David was to dance and play and explore the world with, he also had this amazing capability to move closer when things got hard. He would look me in the eye, take a step toward me with his heart wide open, and say "ok, yeah, what else?" And he would stay and listen and love and listen and love, until whatever I was upset about dissolved into so much appreciation for him, and for life.

Simultaneously, David and I shared the practice of not necessarily believing we were right, or that everything we thought was true. It was amazing to know we would support each other this way, and it was fabulous fun for me sharing naturally this level of humble self-inquiry with David.

As a result, I have a healed heart. After loving and being loved by David these 2 1/2 years, for the first time in my life, I have a full, whole, healed heart. This is one of the gifts that David gave to me.

Perhaps I got to love David as his most free, evolved self. I feel lucky that way. Certainly we struggled with the daily task of getting along with another human being. And we both were conscious of trying to be easy on ourselves and each other. This did not come naturally, but we were willing to try again and again to grow in this way. Cancer treatment was intense, even brutal at times, but David persevered courageously through it all, and I got to witness and support him in that. For me, as hard as it was, I know this whole thing was something that happened for me, instead of to me.

David was my love, my husband, my friend. He valued marriage and the commitments that go with it, in the same way that he valued full engagement with life at every level. I am so grateful that he shared a piece of his life with me. Tara