A Powerful Dream

Hi all,

I did spend one very nourishing night in Portland with my good buddies there, and arrived home late last night. Thank you friends for loving me up, and thank you to the Yentes/Fulford bunch for being here while I was away! I'm told last night over dinner, David, his children and their partners and children, Chris, Jonathan, Margaret and Charles all sat around sharing sweet stories and appreciations of David. It seems like lots of love and connection going on and so that's good for everyone. David said there was a lot of laughter and seemed pleased by that.

When I arrived home David was resting in the living room, and Tyler was in the kitchen playing violin. What a sweet experience I imagine it is for David, even if he is only partly concious, to hear his son playing beautiful music in the house.

Then last night with David I didn't sleep much because he coughed a bunch and I got up to check on him often. Usually he was asleep again, but meanwhile I was awake! Uggh.

Tyler and Elsie spent the night, and we all had breakfast together this morning. It was so sweet to have the young people with us!!! David was somewhat alert, but also more confused than he's been, and imagining things occuring that the rest of us don't perceive. He did have a bit of time outside today, and a nap with his Dad in our big bed.

I received this email tonight from a friend who, at our wedding reception, stood up and said that he knew David and I separately, but mostly regarding spiritual commonality in both cases, and when he heard that we were getting married, he said "Well, of course!! You two are so much alike, that makes total sense to me!" Michael has just traveled to Japan with his Japanese wife and children, planning to spend three years. I will include his email to me and my response, as it will pretty much bring you up to date with the state of things here, on the physical plane, and on the spriitual plane. Thank goodness we have both.

Dear Tara and David,

It's 3am. I woke up suddently a few minutes ago from a powerful dream with you, David. You wanted to take one more dive from the high boards and you did it (amongst some resistance by the officials and some in the crowd!) in the middle of a diving meet. You were curled up on the bottom of the 20 foot pool and I asked you Tara if I could jump down to help him. After you said yes I jumped, swam to the bottom to you David and you had a big smile on your face. I had a hero's vision of carrying you to the surface but when I asked you David, if you'd like that, it was clear you were in a place of peace and didn't want to be rescued. You were ready to go. I held you for a few seconds, looked you in the eyes and gave you a kiss then pushed myself back up and immediately woke up.

While with you at the bottom of the pool, there didn't seem to be anything you were trying to say to me. It was enough just to be with you in the moment. Later, upon reflection, I got the message either from you directly or inspired from you and supported by the support of Tara's grace to try right living! What the heck? Just try to live my highest potential for awhile and see how it feels. In memory of you David, I will take that on! Thank you!

In the midst of trying to be present with you there was this pressure of being seen as 'doing the right thing' since this happened in public. Even though I knew I was doing the right thing by not rescuing you in the back on my mind there was the thought, 'what will everyone think if I don't bring him back?'. That seems to be a constant concern, or at least thought, living here in Japan.

This felt like the final good bye. If so, bon voyage! I love you and always loved being with you. You gave me so much through your authenticity and constant striving for life. May your life be an example for others to follow.

I love you too, Tara! My your life be an example for others to follow as well! I think it is. May you get all the support you need in these times.

With love,

Michael

P.S. Tara - feel free to send this to anyone.

Hi Michael,

Yes, yes, yes. Isn't it amazing that we could be that connected from across the world??!!! A True Oneness Experience!!!

This is actually helpful for me the way things are right now Michael. Just tonight I was sobbing on the phone with a friend because I was wanting David to tell me what he wanted in a situation where he was discontented, and he couldn't and I couldn't get clear about what to do. After a long talk with her, and this email from you I'm understanding to 1, know that it is enough for him, and for me, to just be with him in the moment, and 2, that I now have to decide for him to the best of my ability, how to care for him and keep him comfortable while he departs his body, even as it appears to be a painful process. This is such an intense shift from equal partners, husband and wife, that I havent' been able to wrap my head around that that is now my role here. And sometimes he is clear and our friend says that's ok, just don't expect him to be in the next moment. Mostly I need to decide for him, to take care of him, to mother him essentially. Wow, ok, I can do that, I just need to know that's my role.

I love that you saw David with a big smile on his face. Whenever I talk with him about the idea (and a belief that we share), that his soul if just fine, totally whole, and that he will be leaving this body which is a temporary "costume", and returning to being one with the essence of himself (God), he breathes deeply, sometimes smiling, clearly content.

Thank you Michael, for loving us so deeply, and for sharing yourself in the world this way. And yes, David would love for you and all of us to take the message of living our highest potential, and right living (what ever that is authentically for us), and run with it. That is what he has tried to do, and since we are all leap-frogging off each other, go for it, brother!!

With so much love, Tara (and David)

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